Mayan Hieroglyphs Similiar to Schematic Drawings

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Just noticed how alike schematic drawing of electronic parts like computer parts seem to the Mayan hieropglyphs.

But what does it mean?

Entelechy & "The Anger of our Time Results in Human Robots Singing"

I think most of us are looking to find a bridge to an Eden we vaguely feel that was here at one time, yet has vanished into the misty, mythic memories of stories told but not quite believed. The young are looking, too, alienated by lack luster, directionless, and meaningless schooling, values which don't make sense because they can see what their parents or adults close to them are doing and all the young see is unhappiness and the futility of living with making choices that never address our problems or more importantly, how we feel. ,

"The anger of our time result in human robots singing." ~ I wrote that late one sleepless night.

Then if you don't connect to a support group or anyone who might think the same way you do, you begin to think you are wrong. Like I did, you force yourself into traditionally, socially acceptable choices (not actually authentically yours) and hide among the unhappy rituals of the daily grind of an unfulfilled life and struggle paycheck to paycheck ....and briefly wonder time to time, what went wrong - yet never doing anything about it. Somehow how rationalzing that this horrible nightmare is what's it's all about. Miraculously, some of us do wake up from this nightmare and slowly with much anguish take up the challenge, the search once more.

I went down this path. I cannot say it was wrong, it taught me the price of freedom can be heartbreaking and shattering my ego's illusional dream of a falsely created happiness is humbling. And I can never forget how precious this freedom is. The price was losing contact with children I love dearly, however God or the Universal Power that is, says it'll take care of them....they have always been taken care of.

Though I feel I'm closer to what the Universe (my soul) wants me to do. I am plagued with misgivings. I'm the sort of person who likes to plan out her future, knowing most of the steps and be guided by some delusional, skewed sense of foresight which is distorted by not really knowing who I am - ending up in cycles of failed relationships, unattained goals, feeling that my future is a dead end (that has a little truth in it - I'm gonna die, ha, ha), and not knowing what I truly wanted.

NOW, I try to stay in the moment and be aware when my ego feels frustrated and frightened because it constantly attempts to plan an approach to the future, tells me I'm floundering because I right now I have a lack of defined goals (old abusive mental tapes), and I have to deal with it's total consuming fear of the unknown.

By trying to throw off my sentimental attachments to the dominator model, I have been molded or programmed by, I feel expansive like a billowy cloud, unfocused yet full of potential. Dreams superimpose themselves on my waking reality and I have only recently found a word to describe this multi-layered state of being, bifurcation. Bifurcation as it is used in “The Chalice and the Blade” is different than what I’m trying to describe what’s happening to me, yet the word seems to resonate with my feelings. Wherever I travel to different places while geo-caching with a very good & great friend of mine, Mike, beautiful natural areas in northeast Oklahoma, such as Sparrowhawk, Natural Dam, Goat's Bluff, and even the old limestone ridge just behind the pie factory where I work, these places of wonder and beauty seem to me like the backdrop of another story and another world both ancient and right now at the same time. My mind splits in two or more levels of focus and it frightened me at first.

Most of my life I denied this tendency to split into two or more levels of reality and avoided doing it, having no explanation for it but a historical family madness of schizophrenia or bipolar disease. My aunt has been hospitalized most of her life for schizophrenia and my sister has bipolar disease and takes medication for it. When I was acting in Los Angeles, CA, I felt I came close to the edge of sanity several times. Looking back on my experiences I believe that I came several times to a jumping off place (quantum leap) to where I needed to go, yet the my fear of insanity kept me safely on the edge and I even chose to retreat to my training, a traditional formula for success – a housewife committed to a relationship or an illusional (delusional) storybook fairytale of being a saved princess. So I left close friends, family for a negative relationship (because I formed it out of fear and denial) which I tried to make work with virtually no tools to deal with myself and the situation I had gotten myself into for several years. Deaf and blind commitment, until I understood what this “commitment” was costing me.

I have known throughout my life there are energies in this plane of existence we can sense yet cannot explain. However, I’ve realized they aren’t “bad” or “good.” It’s the way we perceive them or project upon them and shape them is how they appear – if we superimpose a scary or negative aspect on these energies – voila! You get monsters and demons and witches. If you perceive them as helpful entities, you get angels, spiritual helpers, and other positive entities.

Joseph Campbell said that monsters are perceived only because the energies are trying help you evolve are trying to get you to make choices you might be scared to take, we project our fears on to the energies, actually the part of ourselves (soul?) participating in the total evolving universe that we are unaware of most of the time. Once you start making those choices which are in line with universe’s intent, the monster and demons disappear and become helpful, friendly entities.

I am encouraged and highly excited because I have identified an energy around me that I have named Anam Cara, Friend of the Soul. The universe speaks to me through coincidences (sign posts along the way) I can actually see now and that gives me the encouragement knowing I’m taking the right path.

Jean Houston describes this beautifully in her book, Jump Time: “When individuals come into resonance with the universal purpose, they know it in their hearts, they feel it their bones. There is a great assent, a cosmic yes, an arc of energy across the void. What stands revealed in such moments is the entelechy, the creative seed of greatness each of us contains…Contact entelechy, and all circuits are “go.” Tune to it, and another order of perspective is at hand, one that comprehends the spatial and the temporal, that lifts the Earth of one’s seeing into another domain where love rules and the patterns of higher governance are known. Words cannot really describe it. Metaphors fritter and fry in the fires of analogy.

Entelechy is known in its experience. It is being in the flow. It is cooking on more burners. It is making the highest use of skills one has acquired. It is putting old capacities to work in new ways and discovering capacities we never knew we had. It is growing the evolutionary organs of our future, transcendent selves.

When we live in service to our entelechy, we comprehend the genius of Leonardo, the compassion of the Buddha, the social consciousness of Martin Luther King, Jr., the word craft of Emily Dickinson. We become actors on the stage of a new story, our personal play in a scene in the sacred drama of all times and places. We experience profound joy, and a sense of blissful felicity. We enter the domains of the mythic and come face to face with the fullness of what we are.” (page 38)

"Awe is what moves us forward." ~ Joseph Campbell

I did not know until recently whether there existed any female samurai in Japanese history. Actually, it never occurred to me to even research for any. However, I took a deep breath, typed in "female samurai" on an internet search engine and was pleasantly surprised to find a few entries (better than none).

Tomoe Gozen

(1161?â€"1184?) was one of the few examples of a true female samurai in all of Japanese history. She was a samurai during the time of the Genpei War (1180â€"1185). Her name is pronounced "toh-moh-eh", and is translated as "perfect circle".

Most of our knowledge about Tomoe Gozen comes from tales and legends. Depending on the source, Tomoe Gozen was either the wife, concubine (mistress), or female attendant of prominent daimyo Minamoto no Yoshinaka. Many women of the time knew how to use the naginata to defend their home, and there are tales of female ashigaru, but Tomoe Gozen was a high-level samurai, skilled in riding, archery and kenjutsu. She was said to have been fearless and possessing great skill in combat. Fiercely brave and tirelessly loyal to Yoshinaka, she was one of his senior captains during the war, leading his troops, and accompanying him to every battle. She was well respected by men and fought bravely alongside them. In the Heike Monogatari (Tale of the Heike), Tomoe is described:

Tomoe was especially beautiful, with white skin, long hair, and charming features. She was also a remarkably strong archer, and as a swordswoman she was a warrior worth a thousand, ready to confront a demon or a god, mounted or on foot. She handled unbroken horses with superb skill; she rode unscathed down perilous descents. Whenever a battle was imminent, Yoshinaka sent her out as his first captain, equipped with strong armor, an oversized sword, and a mighty bow; and she performed more deeds of valor than any of his other warriors.

â€"Tale of the Heike, McCullough, page 291.

I'm looking for role models (mythical figures) more in line with my genetic background and being a sansei (third generation) Japanese born in America, I do not have a solid background of Japanese history.

Happily, knowing about this legendary woman and other women samurai, fires my imagination and helps me reach deep inside for strength, courage, endurance.

Anam Cara - Friend of the Soul

A few months ago, I became aware of an unfocused energy around me and in my mind that was not ME as far as I could tell.

I was doing a visualization of a dome house I wanted (in accordance to some techniques I was studying to manifest it in my life)and I wrote a little story describing this dome house, describing it in great detail.

Surprisingly, it included an unknown male entity who I thought was a Significant Other. I never clearly saw his face. We had an excellent, comfortable relationship - very mellow and relaxed. I then, had a dream of this man and I knew he had brown hair and very pale skin - still his face wouldn't come into focus. As the days went by I tentatively matched what I knew about this mysterious man against all the men I knew and dealt with in my daily life. No satisfactory matches.

About the same time, I ordered online a Celtic Meditation Music CD beautifully done by Aine Minogue, and I have listened to it constantly, especially when I drive back and forth to work about 19 miles. Some music affects me so strongly that I feel pierced through my soul. I did some research on the internet about this feeling and I am not alone. I am not sure about my intensity but I have found that St. Teresa of Avila wrote about it in her autobiography and a sculpture was done by Gian Lorenzo Bernini to commemorate it. She describes herself as being pierced several times in the heart by an angel of God.

Photo Courtesy of One Lord One Faith One Baptism Christian Forums

For some reason, I always thought that this indulgence in music was melodramatic and unproductive and I always tried to reject it and live (what I thought) a more traditional acceptable life. Since these visions, I've followed where the music led.

This mysterious energy around me coalesced into what could only describe as my soul's connection to God, an angel and due to Irish music I've been listening to, an Irish angel. No other music helped me to recognize this energy. My Irish angel has helped me tremendously to accept what's going on with me right now. I needed desperately to feel more secure enough to act on my dreams and follow God's purpose for me, no matter where I go, do, see.

Then I received through One Spirit, a book club I'm subscribing to, some information about a book about Anam Cara, Friend of the Soul. I knew immediately what my Irish angel was, my soul friend, Anam Cara. I've done some research on Anam Cara and absorbed the information and realized I was incredibly thirsty for this knowledge. I am humbled that God would send this precious entity to me and I am grateful that I now have the wisdom to accept him. I used to believe I was alone and I am not.

I copied this from another site to explain a little more about Anam Cara, who could be a real person or angel (from my perspective , "the mind makes it real"): " He listened to my story - all of it. He helped to relate my life's jig saw pieces to a larger picture. If my self image was low, he would build it up; if my ego was high and mighty he would bring this to my notice; if my blocked emotions hindered my moving forward with the Holy Spirit, he would explore memories or dreams until there was release. Thus, in a context of soul friendship, the Bible's Messianic mandate was again being taken seriously: The low places in my life were raised up, the high places were made low, and imprisoned places were released (Isaiah 40:4; 61:1) " quote from http://www.aidantrust.org/html/soulfriend.html.

Of Baby Humans & Baby Ducks

Photo courtesy of Stonegate Waterfall

Every now and then I wonder about things and thoughts come unbidden into my mind. Like baby ducks and geese. When they hatch, they bond to their mother duck or goose or if it happens to be a human, they will bond with that human, too. ( Have you ever seen the remarkable movie, Fly Away Home?)

Then I thought about baby humans......if ducks and geese bond......humans are alot more complicated than ducks or geese ....what happens at a human baby's birth?

More and more science is proving that newborns retain and imprint much more than you would think - even though they are so seemingly delicate and unaware.

And I wonder about all those babies born under hospital conditions with doctors and nurses they may never see again. So much loss at such an early age. Can that, perhaps have anything to do with our social unease .... incomplete or lost bonding?

Of Rainbows & Chakras

I was amazed to observe that the colors of the rainbow are the same as the ones that are in our chakras.

Rainbow image courtesy of Bob Fay and Chakra illustration courtesy of Sacred Centers.com

My Dear Windsurfing Sis

You turn and beckon to me:

Come catch a ride on the winds of time.

Stand strong above those dark curling waves,

Cascading at your feet churning into magnificent solar clouds

Flash flooding the Universe.

Surround yourself with space,

Filled with ever shifting star shadows and moody silver moonbeams.

Hear the unquiet talk of stars, signaling each other of our luminous, electric, all encompassing ride.

And as we pass, our fingertips brush the stars,

Scattering a million, sparkling light motes scintillating across galaxies.

Heal with your heart, the aching longing of

Lost memories, lost loves, lost times, lost ways.

Feel with your soul,

The joyous music of planets being born, of comets winging riotously by,

Of careless sun spouts shooting into the sky.

Capture a wave of time and ride it to the farthest end.

And be the wonder of it all and be the mystery of it all.

I love life, Nana, follow me.

Copyright 1986 Ellen Wakamatsu Image Courtesy of Disney's "Treasure Planet" and Hubble Space Photo

What Does the Earth Think?

According to scientists, our brain lights up like a brilliant, vibrant thunderstorm when we are thinking coherent thoughts - lit up by all the neurons firing.

I find myself wondering what the Earth is thinking during one of her thunderstorms.

Image of Firing Neuron Courtesy of "What the Bleep" and Lightning Photo Courtesy of Webshots.

Photo Courtesy of "What the Bleep"

Down the Rabbit Hole

Have you ever felt that you have started a journey which seems to get stranger as you go along?

I have, on and off through the years, been "into" spiritual development, new age stuff, and finally when it got too strange, gave it up and tried for a relationship. Stubborn me, I couldn't recognize that even as strange things were happening - I was happy. I thought I could cut it as a traditional homemaker, etc. That's what us females do, don't we?

Every now and then when I heard certain types of music like the lyrical lilting sad Irish songs or a deep cello in a Chinese movie, like "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", I would be moved to tears way out of portion to what was happpening at the time. I grew very curious as to the cause or causes of this heart rending sadness or perhaps a longing. I wrote this around November, 2004:

My mind feels like it wants to spin off reeling into space.

I feel turbulence in my soul, a turbulence I have not felt in a long time.

My souls longs to sing symmetrically in prayers and poems of inner space and endless times.

I keep trying to follow other people's directions to happiness, wealth, abundance, peace, bliss.....I read the books that speak to me or seem to appear out of nowhere. I just read, "The Power of Now" by Eckhardt Tolle. I found this book at a local library, in a spot where I have looked before and suddenly I saw it and started reading it. I didn't have my library card with me at the time, so I had it reserved until I could get it. And this book answered many of my questions. I don't mean to complain or anything but it helped me get to where I am now ..... half out of my cocoon and half in -- a terrifically uncomfartable place.

Night Horse

Whose hooves do you hear crashing on the North Wind?
The clouds froth and billow at your passing.
People toss and turn at your wondrous flight,
And lay sleeping still.
I feel the night wind against my face
And know you are here.
Your wild neighing echoes in my ear
As you come from the heavens,
Landing by my side sweating sea foam and glinty silver.
Untouched by reality, all Darkness and Light,
You heave with motion.
The breath of life you give to the Earth,
And she receives it lovingly,
Giving you, your grounding and your lightning.
All at once there is a flash and you are away. Proud head lifted into the clouds,
Mane and tail brilliant in the full moonlight. I cry, “Wait!” and you turn to look at me.
Dark ebony eyes pierce my very center, And very briefly, oh so briefly
You touch your nose to mine
And you are gone.

Copyright 1988 Ellen Wakamatsu Photo Courtesy of Pegasus.com